A Love Letter To My Dog

What I wrote shortly after my dog was diagnosed with a life-threatening autoimmune disease and what I read to him countless times in the 6 months leading up to saying goodbye.

Jul 14, 2024

12 years ago today my then-husband and I adopted the dog I *truly* waited 6 years for. Or, I might have been waiting for him my whole life until the moment he walked through our front door. We named him Ruger. And he became the love of my life.

32 days ago I said goodbye to one of the most amazing creatures I’ve ever met. Quite literally my closest companion. My first adventure buddy. The one who introduced me to unconditional love. And this is what he means to me.

One of my favorite pictures of my water-loving boy. Here, he's swimming in the Colorado river where California and Arizona meet.

A Love Letter To My Dog

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You are the soft, green grass between my toes.
You are every ocean breeze, the way the salt prickles my nostrils, how I turn into it, giving myself to it, to feel it against my skin.
You are the mud I sink into, barefoot along the shore, filling every crevice of my cracked exterior like slow motion healing, welcoming the weight of me, inviting me to plunge myself into you, just to feel something, your satin skin like a warm blanket resting under the sun, a tactile vibration who soothes my soul.
You are the water where I float, buoyant in your presence, your oxygen like a living organism taking residence in my bones as my inner earth, your hydrogen forms my weightless mind surging through my universe.

You are my beating heart.
You saved me.
Every time, you saved me.

You are who I see when I close my eyes, your shape forever a silhouette painting the folds of my delicate skin.
You are my sun, the radiant energy who delights my every cell into a warm ultraviolet bath, magnifying me into your electric field.
You are my trident, how your strength and your vigor penetrated the walls of this grieving heart as if to prove by your very existence that such a broken thing can still love, and be loved.

Thank you. For everything. For always.
You are my fierce companion.
You are my always comfort.
You are my heart. 
You are my love.
You are my renowned spear, my magnificent marksman.

My Ruger, my boy, my sweet, sweet, boy.